Monday, June 26, 2006

Them Krauts

An issue that has bothered me of late is the GERMANS. We all know that they are not the happiest nation on our happy little globe and they have caused some wars of biblical proportion. I do not like Ze Germans, but that folks is about to change!

The Gerries are grumpy buggers, yes they are however let’s take a peek at what they have achieved, so the teasing shall end for five minutes I hope.
So sit back, slot a bit of Kraftwerk into your Grundig, light up a West, take a sip of your Becks and let’s have a canter through some of the fatherlands achievements.

They gave the world contact lenses, the globe, the printing press, x-rays, the telescope and Levi Strauss; and chemistry lessons would have been so fuuuuuucking boring without the BUNSEN BURNER (hope muddle doesn’t read this she may revert to a Bunsen burner to rid the tree house below)

It was Frank Wittle who invented the jet engine but the Luftwaffe had jets in its planes before the yanks graced the skies with their jets.

This is where it gets down right rude….Got a Land Rover? Its German! So is the Bently, the Rolls Royce (bless her spirit) the Bugatti and the Lamborghini and all the Chryslers…by this time next year they would have got there Das Technik grubby paws on Ferrari, Alfa Romeo and Fiat.

If I were given a choice (be reminded I have strong roots to the isles) of Schroder or Rumsfeld as my leader I would not hesitate for a moment and choose the burly man with twelve chins and a loud demeanour, yep you guessed it, UNT SCHRODER!

Why is that you may ask? Well the Yanks like to talk of how they saved Europe from outright tyranny twice in the past century. True, but let’s not forget they were unbelievably late on both occasions. Predictably the Gerries were as punctual as ever. One has to like that, no one wants to hang around on the landings and wait for the first Mauser to ring off.

Therefore today I like the Germans, it may be short lived, who knows they may win the World Cup, in that case, they are all Beleaguering Knitwits who own the worlds car industry. But we shall fight them on the turf, score spectacular goals and foul them till all 11 English players are on the bench with red cards!!! DAS KIND


Blogger muddlepuddle said...

It wouldn't be right to not have a comment here after you stupidly went and deleted the friggin thing! So here I am! Commenting!

To be honest I am actually desperately trying to keep down my own yoghurt after that whole hairy balls thing!


26 June, 2006 17:05  
Blogger Cookie Monster said...

I know that was despicable, I am at your mercy... so you had yoghurt in the afternoon that forced itself back into your mouth and I had yoghurt this morning that mysteriously appeared this afternoon on my shoe! Strange times Muddle very STRANGE!

26 June, 2006 19:36  
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