Friday, September 08, 2006

My Way Or The Highway

Dear Agony Aunt:

Today was not a great day. I lost a really good friend, she has and rightly so decided that i am not what one would call a good friend. I am always too busy, which truthfully, I really am. What I shall attempt to do is explain why I am so busy, the reason and rather a terrible and feeble reason: to make myself feel better afterward. If I were you reading this post, whoever you might be I would not even waste my time! So here goes.

1.I have a company that I have thrown over 3Mil into getting it into the right position.

2.I have over 15 staff already and I have only been at it for three months, soon I will have thirty to forty.

3.As any business I have cash flow issues... new company Duh!

4.I work till ten most nights just to make sure all is going well.

5. I go through three cell phone batteries a day and sit with a cellphone bill of 4k a month... I live on my phone till I go to bed at night.

6.I get to bed at 1 most nights, no actually every night.

7.I get up at 7.

8.I am always tired.

9.My bank account is really great.

10.Im still tired every morning

11.I still work till 10 most nights.

I have given so much to making my empire, that she said in the heated argument, she went on to say that she hopes I achieve my dreams and that she hopes to read of my empire in Fin Week and probably will have no one to share my dream with!

SHE IS RIGHT..... I am a workaholic, I am not married yet, I have a handful of friends,worse they are work/business related, not because I have the personality of a dripping tap, but because they gave up on me, they dont call, why should they? I am at work is the rsponse when they call late at night to catch up for a drink.

I have given too much to my business world and soon will have no one too share it with, friends that is.

This dillemma has started effecting my family, my mother complains that she never sees me. Then again every soul I know has the same thing to say.

So would one say that work can become a drug. I do so love the the thrill of closing deals and eating the competition up alive!

Is there a place I can go at night once a week, stand up and say "Hi Im Cookie Monster, and I am a workaholic"

Is it a problem?

I will miss her, she is a very special person, she has made me smile like never before.

I am not angry with her, she is doing whats right by herself. I respect her descision. My heart is sore, the really horrible thing is, hers is not sore at all. She was sore ages ago when I was not there for her and has gotten over it ages ago.

You may say, go back and get and reapir the relationship. I cant its too far gone.

Im sorry.


Blogger angel said...

hoo boy...
my heart aches for you, and for your friend, cookie monster.
i wish i had some magic sitcom words to make you feel better!

08 September, 2006 22:53  
Blogger Cookie Monster said...

Hey there Angel, Thanks for the words, the real scary thing is its made me really wonder why I work like I do.

09 September, 2006 09:35  
Blogger angel said...

oops- not a good thing i think...
there's a big difference between loving what you do and wondering why you do it...

10 September, 2006 21:50  
Blogger Revolving Credit said...

Hey Monster

Question? When you say good friend, do you mean girlfriend or all most girlfriend or do you mean best buddy sort of friend.

If its the former, yes I think it's fair to expect you to set time aside for your relationship.

If it's the latter, I'd expect my best friends to support me in my endeavours. Starting a bizniz from scratch is daunting, fuck I know been there. Its' not a 9 to 5 job.
You start by saying ' If I'm my own boss, I'll be able to take time off to meet friends, play golf, take holidays and all related shit'

Practically, staff go home and you knuckle down to work - what is important is knowing that if you wanted the time off you could take it, even if bizniz forces you not to. Thats your choice, you know the effect on your infant bizniz and building something like this probably gives you a woody.

I know it did for me - however I do realise that now, a few years later, I need to take a decent break just to recharge.

The 1st 6 to 12 months can and will be critical and it will grab most of your time. Once you've settled into the comfortzone and have staff you can trust to offload some of the work on, then life should return to some semblence of normallity

A good friend will stand by you through this. Some of my best friends I don't neccessarily see very often. 1 friend I've been trying to arrange supper with for about 6 month. He has also recently started a small bizniz and our schedules just don't seen to co-operate with our plans. We're trying for next week.

Good friends are hard to come by, they should not be discarded on a whim - If you're able to do that then you have to question whether you were good friends to begin with.

11 September, 2006 12:25  
Blogger Shortypam said...

oh no cooks... im so sorry but unfortunetly when dreams are being realised one forgets that theres another world out there... im really sorry that this happened to u but considering the circumstances u couldnt have prevented it, dont worry cooks everything will come right, time heals.

11 September, 2006 15:00  
Blogger Katt said...

Cookie, I am really, really sorry to hear this...

With regards to your friend, I have to be honest, I understand how she feels. I have lost probably the best friend I have ever had because he started his own company. He has become so bad that when we do talk he takes his frustrations out on me.

I've come to realise that my best friend died figuratively when his company started. To be quite honest, there is an enormous hole in my life now. So yes, I understand how your friend feels.

Revolving Credit is correct, friends should stand by you in this time. I am honestly there for him, anytime he needs me. But he successfully destroyed anything and everything I ever felt for him.

Cookie, just remember, it's great to be wealthy and successful. But it sucks when you have to enjoy it on your own.

I really hope things pick up for you in terms of the heartbreak. I'm on your side too.

11 September, 2006 15:04  
Blogger TwoFlower said...

i am so sorry to hear about your problems cooks and i too wish there was some magic sitcom words i could tell you to make you feel better but alas, i think i am useless when it comes to relationships - as my blog proves.

as for being a workaholic - it is a kind of a drug, and it can actually become quite a serious problem in ALL aspects of your life. my only advice to you is to set yourself limits: tell yourself you will go home at 6pm at least once a week and do something for your self for once, even if it is eating chocolate and drinking wine in the bath (yes, i know its girly but its all i could think of!!!!)

good luck to you Mr.President-2-be!
i'll be thinking of you..xxxx

11 September, 2006 19:14  
Blogger Cookie Monster said...

Hey there Revolve: Nope bud she is just a good friend, not my girlfriend mate. I am so glad that you are on the same page as me with regards to ones own business. It just is that way. I live for the business and want to make it success. I aint a eight to fiver guy and wanna add where I can. On the relationship side with my girlfriend she luckily is just as busy and when there is time I suppose its all for her.

The truth has been told by you, if they really are your friends they would understand! Thanks bud, you breated life into me!

Hey there Porno Pam... Thanks for the great words, I have gone through a little hell with this business and it makes me work just that harder to make it work!

Kitty Katt... thats what bugs me I will make loads of cash but with whom shall I share...I mean rev said it, if they are reall friends they would undertstand.

Ah my Favourite Flower... chockie and wine in the bath... mmm sounds good. The part where I spend time for me, well at work it really is for me.

11 September, 2006 20:15  
Blogger Champagne Heathen said...

Cooks, good friends never disappear. If they're around for life, that's quite a long time. If she, and others in your life, are your good friends, you'll see them on the other side of all of this. And they'll be so proud of you & definitely will be around to share your rewards.

I am of the temperament where my good friends are all striving to achieve great things in life. This means we all work early & late hours and are involved in 1000 other activities. I respect that this means I cannot make time demands on them, but when they have a break, the moments spent together are great.

Good luck with the long-term balance.

12 September, 2006 08:56  
Blogger NMOTB said...

I really enjoyed reading up all your posts (specially the test drive). I am sorry to hear that you have lost a friend in the process of getting your business up and running, however at the end of the day once it is doing really well, you will find that the true friends will still be around to enjoy it with you. If they don't stick it out with you through thick and thin, can you really call them true friends? Good Luck and keeping working hard at it, you will reap the reward sooner or later!

17 September, 2006 13:38  

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